Joke

What sound does it make when a water truck hits a vinegar truck?



DOUCHE!

Funny

I saw a midget driving a 4 wheeler last weekend, epic.

A parents milestone

My 10 year old daughter is super duper ultra deluxe into the Jonas Brothers. She was sooooooooo excited to see Camp Rock yesterday, but ended up missing the first half because we got the time wrong, she was super bummed out.

I am still not sure if she is into the boys of the band, or just the music. When I talk to her about them, she gets all smiley and shy, so I think she is liking the boys....



I knew this day would come... and so it begins...

As a father of two girls I knew this was going to happen eventually, but not quite sure on how to handle it. I guess there isn't much handling to do, I just have to be nice about it and not make fun of them for liking boy bands or teen heartthrobs etc... I'll probably get her a poster or something of the Jonas Brothers to hang in her room, maybe a t-shirt. I mean, at least its good music right? I think I listened to part of one song and it seemed OK, just not my bag.

Old School

So if you read the previous post, you should have figured out that our lawn mower died. So being the environmentally conscience family that we are, we decided to not pursue another gas powered lawn mower, but instead move backwards a couple of steps and go with a modern but old school Reel Mower.



I would have to say, it is a good time! It has put the fun back into mowing lawns (if there was any kind of fun to be had in the first place). Good workout, easy to push, cuts pretty good and is easy to store. Best of all, there is no gas needed! Bling.. in my pocket.

We have a fairly big back yard and I didn't have to stop once to empty a bag. Its quiet, I can still hear my kids playing or my wife talking to me while I zoom back and forth. One thing to be aware, its not a fan of tall weeds and taller grass may take a couple of passes, but if you keep up the lawn like ya should, that shouldn't be a problem.

I cant believe I just got excited about a lawn grooming apparatus and implementing it in my yard care routine... wow.

Ah!

Note to self....

Lawnmowers need oil to keep running.

One Day As A Lion

Zack de la Rocha is back!

Hot Damn this stuff is good.

Get the album, do it now.

http://www.onedayasalion.org

Summatime

My wife is talking about moving out to the country... which I'm actually cool with. She has found some awesome houses, which are much cheaper than in "The Valley". I think I could handle wearing some overalls and playing a jug on the porch. Out of all the places we have considered moving too, I get the best feeling from this one. The only thing that would temporarily hold us back is that I have to find a job out there. Now this place isn't way out in the sticks, its actually some what of a college town and jobs in the technology sector are out there, so hopefully it wouldn't be too difficult to find something. I hope it all works out, it would be a great experience for the kids and a chance for us to get out the city type life and get into something a little more easy going.



Watch Surf's Up you dirty trash can full of poop.

OH DAMN!

Let us all welcome the month of May!

Its May. It has snowed in May. So far, May sucks.

BUT ITS GOING TO GET BETTER!!! TOMORROW!!!!1!!!1one!

Thats right folks, its vacation time tomorrow, everyone get excited. Stay tuned, might have some fun pictures and stories for the upcoming week, best be bookmarking this summama beeyotch, its gonna be fun.

If I don't end up posting anything, im sorry in advance, it was too much fun to get on the computer or something.

In the mean time, have a twinkie!

I have returned! How aboot that folks.

Well hey there, I'm Jay, and you are?

Oh! You're my blog! I totally forgot about you!

Wow, this is so crazy meeting up like this, who would have thought we would ever run into each other on the internets! It is so vast and spacious, the chances are slim to none!

Anyways...

Yea...

I'm going to San Diego with the family this Saturday to go have a fun super exciting week of not being in Utah! Yay for us! If you are lucky, maybe I might make this into a mini travelogue of our exploits and shenanigans of a wacky Utah family of 6! Damn, there are 6 of us... wow.

Oh, we got a new van... its not really new, but its new to us and its awesome. 2006 Kia Sedona baby, I might even post a pic of the hot ride... ya know, if you are lucky.

Back to San Diego, we iz gonna hit us up some Seaworld and Legoz Landz, maybe see some animalz at da zoo. w00t, its gonna be 1337.

Ya.

Bacation, too bad we aren't going for eleben days, but ill settle for nine.



This is how one of my kids sleep.... its crazy! I bet his neck was sore when he got up.

15 days and no posts?!?! WTF

'Allo!

I'm still around, too damn busy to even think... sux0r!

But here I am, typing away, trying to think of something worth while to post and its not working very well. I'm at a loss.

We just had a speaker battle here at work... my boss walked in, started playing some metal type stuff, like Dragon Force or something, really loud so I obliged and played Six by All That Remains, super extra loud... luckily no one else is in the office yet, since he is across the hallway from me, but it was awesome none the less.

I haven't been watching too many movies lately, just finding the time and the ability to stay up past 9pm is tough these days. I did watch Becoming Jane with the wife last night. I think she just got the movie because Mr. Tumnus was in it...



But over all, I actually enjoyed the movie... probably because all the kids were asleep and I was sitting next to my wife.

I think ill end it here because, this whole post doesn't flow at all, it just sounds like some crazy ramblings about crap with no point at all. I'll try to be better at posting more with some quality content, please bear with me as I start to regain my ability to process information and think once again.


Good day to you.

Cold white crap that makes me angry.

I hate snow.

I'm done with it, I'm done trying to commute an hour in the fluffy white shiz.

I have not seen this much snow for a very long time. I do recall back in '83 snow fall like this (yea I know, I'm getting my old person stories started early). My parents have pictures of my brothers and I standing in our front yard with piles of snow taller than us AND the mail box. WTF? I also remember my dad having to shovel snow off the roof of the house so that it didn't cave in and kill us all.

Back in the day....

Well, I'm older now and realize how much it really sucks.

I'm tired of shoveling the drive way every other day and my wife probably is tired of it too. Ok, so you are probably thinking what kind of asshole makes his wife shovel the drive way?!? Not me. She goes out and does it of her own free will. I guess its a chance to get out of the house and let the kids play.


Time to switch out of rant mode and get on with something else...


So, I watched Superbad last night, not sure how I feel about it...

There was some funny parts, but overall, it wasn't as funny as people made it out to be. Sure, if you like hearing the word vagina, vag, vagi, penis, dick, wang (and whatever other variations there are) said a billion times along with the F word... good for you. Maybe back in my teen/early twenties years I would have thought this was funny. Not anymore.

I guess I have become more of a movie snob than I used to be. I just don't enjoy raunchy mindless joyride type movies anymore. I guess ill just stick with movies I might actually enjoy and get some kind of satisfaction out of watching... like an old school Kurosawa samurai flick.



I don't think this post has enough pictures... so here is one with a cat in makeup.

Its been awhile!

Hi.

I'm back.

I've been sick off my ass and working a ton... not a great combo espeically when its some weird upper repository thing thats borderline pneumonia... yay!

Anyways, I am here to share some comments on another flick I watched while on my deathbed.



Sunshine

It's a good time, you should watch it.

I wouldn't categorize this as a horror movie, more like suspense. For some strange reason I really enjoy movies that put the characters in isolated, desolate situations. Situations like being contained to a small area and cant do anything, or a big wide open space that no one is there except a select few people and some crazy situation that put them there in which caused everyone to disappear or leave (28 Days Later-ish).

What also helped was that I was in for some good Sci-Fi action, I have been lacking in this area for quite a while and this movie really did the trick.

Now I'm going to get too much into this movie because I would like you the reader experience it on your own. But I do have to say that the story does not lack, it kept me into it the whole time. Yes, at times it is predictable, but for me, I'm in it for the adventure and to see how the story unfolds, because there is a possibility that I will be surprised by some story twist or whatever.

One thing though, there is one part in the movie that kinda freaked me out, it was when they first arrive on Icarus 1, the flashlight part... you watch and you will know what im talking about.... its freaking awesome.



I'm open for some good movie suggestions, please let me know if you have any!

Thank you.

The Seventh Seal

Alright, I just finished this movie last night and am a little confused.

Ok, I initially thought the knight was just trying to evade Death as long as he could, thats why he challenged him to the game of chess, he probably figured that there is no way he could win anyways. So as we proceed more through the movie he meets up with several other folk, like the actors and the smith & his wife.


SPOILER ALERT if you haven't seen it and want too... so don't keep reading.





Near the end of the movie, it shows the knight playing chess again with Death, but now Death will have checkmate in one move, but as they go, the actor guy and his family are sneaking away. So my interpretation is that the knight knows he is screwed, but has a chance to distract Death and allow the actor and his family to elude Death. BUT at the very end when Death visits everyone else at the knights castle, he ends up taking everyone that was there.

So what did they do to be taken away?

Was it the simple act of being associated with the knight?

Was the smiths wife taken because she ran off with another guy?

Why was the knights wife taken, but was only in about 5 min of the movie?

I need some help with this and will be consulting the internets for some answers...

HBFS

In the same fashion as the Beastie Boys when they made "Awesome; I F*****n' Shot That!" , Daft Punk threw out a bunch of video cameras to concert goers at one of their ALIVE 2007 shows and put together an amazing video of their mix of Harder Better Faster Stronger/Around The World... damn... I wish I was there.

Steven Seagal - Energy Drink Maker Guy

While visiting the local Wal-Mart, I noticed a can of energy drink with a pic of Steven Seagal on it. So I told my wife we should buy it as a fun present for her brother. So we did, but never gave it to him... lucky him.

I decided to give it a try and see if it was any good and here are the results:

It's not.

I'm betting its probably the Goji Berry and Cordyceps... whatever those are.

The funniest thing though and probably the most confusing, is a little item at the top of the can that says "Asian Experience Energy Drink".


What does that mean?!? If I drink this, I will know what it is like to be an Asian with energy? First, it tastes like ASS... and no, I don't taste much ass, but if I did, this would be it. Also, if thats what it feels like to be Asian, I dont want to be. I was wired and shaky all day, I feel for those people that feel like this every day of their lives.

Next up is a lovely little quote on the bottom of the can that shows how much knowledge Steven Seagal has when it comes to energy drinks AND it shows he is angry ALL THE TIME:


There ya have it... I just did a energy drink review for everyone and didn't really mean to do it.

I saved the can so I can show everyone how hardcore I am when it comes to energy drinks, Rockstars have nothing on Mr. Seagal.

Beastula has been smitten!

Thats right... my wish has come true!

HiLlArY LoSt... 3rd place! HA! w00t!

Hopefully this momentum continues... BUT we still have 11 more months of this crap to endure.

I am an avid listener to NPR since I have a somewhat long commute to work and its all they talk about. You know it is a slow news day when they start reporting on what the canidates ate at a state fair... WHO CARES. Alright, so if they chose a deep fried twinkie, that means they are not going to pull out of Iraq, but if they chose funnel cake, they will... I guess it makes sense.

I heart Fridays. The second best day of the week, since you get to look forward to the first best day of the week which is Saturday. The worst day of the week is a toss up, its either Sunday or Monday. Sundays suck because you know you have to go to work the next day BUT Mondays suck ALSO because you are back at work and the weekend has ended.

Another thing I heart is Daft Punk... I cant get enough of it, either can my kids. Its all they and I listen too. I just hope my wife isnt too sick of it, I know she enjoys watching the kids dance to it though.... which reminds me of a childhood memory. I'm not exactly sure how old I was, maybe between the ages of 5-10, my dad would always cook a delicious breakfast on Saturday mornings. As he got started, he would always put on some kind of music, Michael Jackson's Thriller album was always a family fav, which is odd for my dad, but anyways... The one song that we loved the most was Funkytown by Lipps, Inc. My brothers and I would just get down with the funky sounds and dance all over the front room to this song... So it gives me the warm and fuzzies to see my kids doing the same thing!


Have fun, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if I'm not back by dawn... call the president.

FINALLY

Iowa caucuses are today... FINALLY. I dont usually follow these things, but I am sick of the Presidential primaries. I'm done hearing these grown up people bicker like little school children... "I'm cooler than you", "You smell like butt" blah blah blah... Hopefully i'm not the only one that feels like this.

JUST GET IT OVER WITH DAMMIT!!!!

My only wish right now is for Hillary to lose horribly.

Happy New Year! and some junk...

Hi.

It is here.... 2008, a nice even year. If you add up all the numbers it equals 10, so all you conspiracy people figure that one out and let me know if there is some wierd end of the world apocalypse thing that will happen soon, so I can get ready.

Anyways, Hi again.

Since its a new year, what better time to think about doing something good. My plan, along with my wife, is to get hot and sexy (she already is, I have a long way to go) for our family vacation to California. I'm figuring about 30lbs by April, which is totally doable, as long as I actually do it. Now that is has been written, let it be done.


Winter sucks.

Bye.